I am wondering why I cannot do it well???

My mood is quite down and quite complicated when I see my results.
Yup! I need to come out to say something about my previous school exam.
Actually, to be honestly I am not doing well in this time.
I dont know what happen to me.
I get the low mark in my chemistry and maths.
First of all, the chemistry paper is not very difficult but I fail to get a better mark for it.
I am very upset when I noticed that many of them get the better mark for it.
Since I was in form 5, my chemistry was not so good although I study hard.
Chemistry, a subject which I have interesting on it since I first time meet it at form 4 but I start to become disappointed to it during my form 5 chemistry exam.
Eventhough I study hard I still cannot get a satisfy mark which is equivalent to my effort which I have put on it.
Now, I am in form 6 the same thing is still happen to me.
Yup! May be chemistry is depend on the practice, you need to do more questions because the question is not directly with what you have read on the book.
Secondly, I am very angry to myself because I am not careful enough to do all the calculations and read the questions.
All the simple questions I also get it wrongly and all the marks have flied away from me.
My learning skill is wrong? I am wonder about it.
May be I become lazy after my SPM and the long holiday before the school open on May.
I am feeling bad at my mark, I hate myself.
I am in the valley now.
I dont know how to facing myself, I dont know how to facing to my tuition teacher.
I feel guilty when I saw the marks.
When I see back on my paper, I dont know why I cannot do it well and do it correctly and do it carefully on the exam time.
When the paper is returned back, I can do some of it but why I cannot do them during my exam time?
Why? I am wondering why?

My breath is full of sadness...

D.I.S.S.A.P.O.I.N.T.E.D. and F.R.U.S.T.R.A.T.E.D.

Let me be alone....